.::Daniel E. King

Andy like sockar

"It was really nice to be able to give back to the community," stated one of the players when being questioned about the new teammate. "He may be mentally, um...different, but on the field, he's just Andy to us."

The number one indoor soccer team at All-American has allowed a mentally handicapped player to be a part of their crew.

"He's kind of like a mascot," mused one of his teammates, "I mean, he doesn't do much other than run around with his hands in the air and wheeze like an asthmatic chicken, but that gives us hope - hey, if he can do all this with the brain capacity of a newt and the athletic charm of a dead turtle, what am I capable of?"

The new teammate takes a quick break after having an accident in his pants.

Who Sharted?

After asking the question Lexi could not keep her composure and burst out in laughter. I had thought it might have been Lindsay but Lexi's bad acting proved her the culprit. We spanked Lexi for not taking immediate responsibility and for trying to semantically divert our attention from the truth. Kids, oh jeez!

I dance.

Lindsay finds my dancing incredibly sexy, so you can imagine her joy when she came downstairs and found me dancing to the movie, High School Musical. “Oh, Baby. Oh, Baby. Oh, Baby.” Lindsay’s response was typical. In fact, I think she believes that I missed my calling in life. “You are a stud muffin, you big bad dancer you, no one does the lawn mower sexier than you,” she often says to me. Upon hearing this I normally reply, “if only the world could witness these moves.”** “The world is just not ready for you’re invisible sprinkler dance.” I think she might be right. ** Lindsay doesn’t let me dance in public. I think this is because she is protecting the hearts of ladies everywhere.

Rise Up With Fists - Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins

Emotions run deep
deep, deep, deep
oh yeah, very deep
deep as ocean, deep
big descriptive word, deep
it’s deep
and emotional
and deep.
word.

Hello! I am baby.

Have you seen this man?

Beware of this man!  He has been seen lurking outside the windows of suburban homes.  He is wily, this one - any attempts to subdue him should handled with extreme caution.  He was last seen near Waldo frolicking to and fro like a school girl on amphetamines.  Be careful out there.